1 x 11 Back to School

1. Moving Out

I get a new place. Ash looks totes fugly - ugh - I mean tired in this one. Wardrobe provided by Donna Karen.

2. Moving Day

My bodyguard is responsible for everything related to my body, including moving the stuff I surround my body with.

3. Bodyguard

Got legit sick filming this. Didn’t sleep for 48 hrs. Not cuz of drugs, you haters, b/c I’m an effing method actor.

4. Baby

I consider getting a baby. At least I think that’s what happens. It’s been a while since I read the script.

5. Baby Daddy

Bodyguard flat out refuses to be my daddy baby, so I flat out threaten to steal his sperm.

6. Depressed

I’m tired of waiting around for that special someone to have a baby for me.

7. Hangover

I learn never to drive drunk. Especially when driving a blimp.

8. Fight

I know to get emotional when the piano music kicks in.

9. Philip Seymour Hoffman

I get acting lessons from the Academy Award-winning creep-o.

10. Cat

I decide to get a cat rather than have a baby because it’s more expensive.

11. Back to School

I’m going back to college to get my The Bachelor degree.

12. Extension

Can I have an extension on that paper I have to write? I have to learn how to write.

13. Paper

I ended up getting an “F” for “F”-ort.

14. Crush

It’s just a little crush and I throw up a little every time they touch.

15. Ashleyguard

But Ashley doesn’t have nipple hair!

16. Nightmare

Quiet, Evil Dragon, I’m trying to write a description!

17. Zac Efron

A date with Zac Efron? Zac Ef yes!

18. Philip Seymour Hoffman 2

Is this about all those blimps I crashed? Because I keep telling you guys, I don’t care.